Selected Publications
Funny
The Only Way to Save Public Education is to Turn Every Single School in America into High-end Condos - McSweeney’s
As The Oldest Person In This American Eagle Store, What’s My Duty In The Event Of An Active Shooter? - McSweeney’s
Reviews of New Food: Coffee Mate White Lotus Thai Iced Coffee Creamer - McSweeney’s
Conversations With Fertility Doctors - The Belladonna
I’m the Only Plumber in Arendelle and My Life is a Shit Show - Slackjaw
Give Me Anything That Sparks Joy In Your Soul And I Will Monetize It - McSweeney’s
Someday, Sarah, Our Ship Will Come In And We’ll Move Back To The Neighborhood We Used To Live In Before We Got Priced Out - McSweeney’s (Named #McSweeneysUndiscoveredGems by editor Chris Monks)
Welcome To OMFG Maternity Hospital - The Belladonna
Prenup for Hipster Dirtbags - Points in Case
What Your Favorite Lady Rocker Says About Your Personal Style - Robot Butt
I’m A YouTube Child Star And I’m Probably Going To End Up President Or Something - McSweeney’s
The 7 Stages Of Discovering Your Child Has Defaced An Ancient Statue With A Blue Crayon - Frazzled
Not Funny
Witching Hour: 10 P.M. in Muriwai - Off Assignment
God Punishes Fornicators and Musicians - The Fourth River
The Purpose of a Daughter is Survival - Barrelhouse
Witching Hour: 10 P.M. in Muriwai audio version on The Atlas Obscura Podcast
A Woman of Scanty Means Traverses the Underworld - The Missouri Review
Roadkill - LitMag